


Don't Let Your Heart Grow Cold

by dawnstruck



Series: Hopeless Wanderer [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Study, Codependency, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, M/M, Mindfuck, Onsen sex, Podfic Available, Rimming, Some Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 10:09:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3606258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dawnstruck/pseuds/dawnstruck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All along, Sasuke has been digging his own grave.</p><p>[Continuation to 'Clouded Mind and Heavy Heart']</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Let Your Heart Grow Cold

**Author's Note:**

> Because I'm apparently not the only one who enjoys this twisted form of sasunaru, I've decided to write a second installment. So while the first part was about Sasuke making Naruto dependent on him, this is about how codependency runs both ways and how Sasuke is affected just as much.  
> I've also tried to integrate some more canon plot points, which is difficult because so much would have changed when Naruto left with Sasuke. Still, I hope everything makes sense. :-)

_“But hold me fast, hold me fast_  
_'cause I'm a hopeless wanderer_  
_I will learn, I will learn to love the skies I'm under”_  
Mumford and Sons ~ Hopeless Wanderer

 

He kills Deidara. Or rather, Deidara kills himself in one last suicide attempt to get the better of Sasuke.

But Sasuke is smart, smarter than others give him credit for when they see a boy of seventeen who was never properly raised, neither by a family nor by a village.

His age gives him an advantage, though. When he first left Konoha, he was still a blank piece of paper. Now, for all that he is a missing nin, few people have actual intel on his current strength. So he has a trump or two up his sleeves, and no bingo book will be of much use to any of his opponents.

Deidara is strong, doubtlessly. Otherwise he wouldn't be Akatsuki. But he is also mortal and wholly human – which Sasuke proves by defeating him, even if only indirectly.

He feels vaguely insulted at the fact that they only sent one of their lesser members for him. But then again, he obviously wasn't the real target anyway.

 

When he returns to their camp, it is utterly destroyed. Naruto, as expected, as feared, is gone.

Sasuke bites his lower lip until he tastes blood. His hand clenches around the hilt of his katana, frustrated in his helplessness.

He had known that Akatsuki was on the move again. Had known that they were a bigger danger than ever, that they had gotten hold of several other bijuu, that their success had newly motivated them to get the last ones as well.

The Raikage's brother was still left over, Sasuke knows. The Hachibi. Sasuke also knows that they have to extract the beasts in a set order, according to the number of their tails.

That means that, at least for now, Naruto is not in immediate danger, unless they have gotten their hands on the Hachibi at the same time.

Logically, Sasuke shouldn't be quite this incensed.

But then again, the past years have proven that logic isn't exactly the thing that drives him, anyway.

 

Akatsuki's lair – for it is a lair, and Sasuke cannot quite contain the derisive snort at that – is easy enough to find.

He and Naruto have prepared for such a scenario – not quite a kidnapping at the hands of Akatsuki, but any sort of unexpected separation. The solution had been surprisingly easy.

A seal that, once activated, allows miniscule bits of chakra to leave the body and manifest in the form of occasional flares, forming a line of flickering beacons that could be followed if one knew what to look for.  
It was basically foolproof as long as one remembered to actually activate the seal once it became obvious that a separation was imminent. Luckily, Naruto had remembered, and so Sasuke finds himself just behind the border of Ame, rain pelting down on him in a constant downpour.

With suspicious eyes he gazes up at the sky, dark and foreboding as it is. He doesn't trust the rain. Then again, he doesn't really trust anybody.

But he's got contacts still. Spies and sources that just require the right amount of coins or threats to losen their tongue. He knows enough about Akatsuki to weigh the risk against the potential gain.

Itachi and Deidara are dead, at his own hands. The supposed immortals Kakuzu and Hidan have graciously been taken care of by the Leaf. Sasori has been lost in the attempt to save Subaku no Gaara.

That leaves five potential members. The single woman. The orange-haired man. The new recruit with the mask. The swordsman. And the plant hybrid, who seemed capable of growing clones like weeds.

If Sasuke had to guess he would estimate them at Tobi being the least dangerous and Zetsu being the most. But this is Akatsuki. They are all somewhat inhuman in their own special ways.

Sasuke is well aware of how likely he is to die in this encounter.

Itachi had been difficult to beat, even counting in the man's sickness and Naruto's involvement in the fight. And now Sasuke is still feeling the affects of the fight with Deidara, the untreated injuries and the chakra depletion, as well as the hours of near non-stop travel it took him to get here.

But the pain, the exhaustion are just fleeting impressions at the fringes of his consiousness. He is above them, beyond them, eternally superior.

There's a fire in him, and a thirst fueled by it. He will see it satiated.

 

Maybe, at some point in the past, he would have wondered at this. That he is willing to go so far.

He has killed Itachi, has fulfilled his revenge against Konoha. He has gotten not justice, but blood and satisfaction. His quest is over and there is nothing to strive for, except more power and knowledge in order to evade the ones still out to get him.

And he has proven, more than once, that he is a force to be reckoned with, even if on his own.

Therefore, Naruto has lost his usefulness to him.

His pet and guard dog, some have called him. Others simply, whore. And they were right.

Naruto's presence by his side is not a necessity anymore, he realizes, but an indulgence. Because it is easier to sleep at night when someone else is keeping watch, but easier still when there is a warm weight in his arms, trusting and familiar.

Throughout all those years, Naruto has been the only person he has touched without the intent to kill. The only one spoken to without ever uttering a complete lie, half-truths and exaggerations to plant deep-rooted doubts notwithstanding.

Has he held on to his sanity because he had Naruto to talk to when otherwise there would not have been anyone to listen? Or has he lost it for the same reason?

Sasuke cannot even imagine who and where he would be now if not for Naruto. Definitely not in Ame, though, armed with the righteous fury and reckless desperation of someone who has been robbed of all that he had left.

Akatsuki won't even know what hit them.

 

The man with the mask is not there, and neither is Zetsu. Maybe they are currently looking for the Hachibi after all.

Instead it is only Konan and Pain, nursing their wounds that Naruto has inflicted on them during their fight. Kisame is nowhere to be seen and therefore it is difficult to estimate whether he is currently in full possession of his strength.

Naruto himself is unconscious and injured as well, but alive – and that is all that matters.

Konan stills and lifts her head.

“We have a visitor,” she says, and Sasuke steps out of the shadows.

“No,” he says, cool on the outside while inside he is burning, “You have something that is mine.”

 

The fight is bloody and Sasuke wouldn't want it any other way.

Konan disappears early on, to 'warn Nagato', whoever that is, but Pain and his derivatives prove to be quite a nuiscance all on their own. Then Kisame shows up and all hell breaks lose.

The shark taunts Sasuke, mocks him for killing his brother who was only ever protecting him, and therefore walkng straight into the trap that Danzou laid for him. Uchiha murdering Uchiha, all over again.

And Sasuke hears, but does not listen. He has not made his peace with his mistakes, not by a long shot. But Itachi is not why he is here.

Yet Kisame, like so many, is fooled by the face of a young boy. He underestimates him, still sees him as the child who once came after Itachi and was so easily, shamefully subdued.

And perhaps Sasuke will never be the genius prodigy his brother always was, but he's got something better now. He's got nothing to lose.

Because what else is there, if not Naruto? What constant does he have beside bare survival and the stars in the skies? No, Sasuke will fight for this. And Sasuke will win.

 

The world is red.

It is as if the Sharingan had suffused everything with its colour.

But the world is also warm and wet and reeks of metal, and he knows that it is not the Sharingan blinding him, but blood.

He is covered in it, from head to toe, and barely a recollection of how it came to be so.

Berserker, he thinks vaguely as he looks down at himself. Massacre, when he observes his surroundings.

Akatsuki, they have called themselves, and red are their remains.

Zetsu, Tobi and Konan never returned, and neither did the man named Nagato. Did they not get the message in time? Did they just forsake their allies and their captured jinjuuriki? Had they fallen against the Hachibi? Was the organization shattered for good?

Sasuke does not ask himself these questions now, but later he will and he won't really care. For now, it is done. Naruto is safe. Safe and asleep, unperturbed by the battle around him, so Sasuke hoists him up in his arms and carries him to safer places still.

 

Outside, the rain has not stopped, but it has changed. It's not nearly as heavy. It does not feel like a watchful presence anymore.

Still, Sasuke makes to leave Ame on the fastest way possible and only allows himself to stop once they have reached the border.

He chooses the Land of Rivers because it's neutral territory. The Fire Country is a bit too close for comfort, but Konoha is far enough away, and so is the River's Tanigakure.

The weather here is cool, but in a pleasant manner. Dry when compared with Ame.

Sasuke finds a clearing and, for the first time in hours, he decides that it is time to rest.

With what seems to be the last of his chakra, Sasuke lifts the seal that is keeping Naruto unconscious and immobile. Immediately, the boy stirrs and slowly opens his eyes.

“Sasuke,” is the first word upon his lips, before he even looks up to him.

“Dobe,” Sasuke answers and allows himself to smile.

 

His pet and guard dog, some have called him. Others simply, whore.

Friend, Sasuke calls him openly. And, breathing against his skin, Beloved.

 

There is a hot spring nearby and they take the time to wash off the traces of what was an entire day of war.

The rain has done its part, but the gore and grime has seeped through their clothes and into their skin. Not to mention their own wounds, some deeper than others.

Once more, Naruto has been burned by the Kyuubi's chakra when he tried to fight his attackers off, but by the time Sasuke got to him, his skin had already regenerated. He's still raw and tender, though, so Sasuke gentles his fingers that are so rough from the constant use of blades and lightening, and washes every inch of him.

They should be dead tired, and they are, but they stay awake by sheer stubborness and the fear that sleep would feel too much like death.

There's a constant painful pull behind behind Sasuke's eyeballs, payback for overusing the Sharingan, and his bones are lead, his limbs rubber. Every movement feels strangely delayed and unreal, so he forces himself to concentrate on the sensation of Naruto against his palms, alive and breathing.

“I was scared,” Naruto admits in a mumble, back turned and head lowered, hair dripping with water, “But I knew you would save me.”

“You'd do the same for me,” Sasuke knows and Naruto nods without hesitation.

“Yes,” he agrees, whole-heartedly, “Yes, I would.”

They are clean then, as if the dirt had been washed away along with the dread, and Sasuke pushes Naruto up against the side of the onsen, not caring for the rocks that must be digging into Naruto's stomach and palms.

He crouches low, chin barely above the surface of the steaming water, hands on Naruto's ass, spreading him apart.

Naruto barely manages to get out the first syllable of his name before his breath already hitches as Sasuke begins to eat him out. Usually, he is rarely so focused on Naruto, preferring to keep their pleasure mutual, but now he wants nothing but taste.

So Naruto is mewling and gasping and moving against him, shivering between the heat of the water and the cool air of descending night.

The horizon in the West is tinted in lingering hues of orange, but the darkness bleeds into it, devours it as it does every day, again and again, without fail.

Once Naruto is a single mess of moans and pleas, Sasuke stops abruptly and climbs out of the spring, grabbing Naruto's hand and pulling him along.

Their previous camp was destroyed along with their packs, but they carry their most important belongings sealed upon their bodies anyway. They will have to buy new clothes and bedrolls and weapons, but for now they will have to make do.

Their clothes, torn and tattered, are hanging on some brances to dry, but they are too dirty to ever be washed clean again. So they remain naked and Sasuke uses katon to light a self-sustaining bonfire, though his chakra reserves are nearly empty.

Then he pushes Naruto down onto the rich, damp earth and keeps him there.

They are alive and together. The relief of that realization had caused their bodies and minds to succumb to tenderness and careful touches. Now the world tilts a little, because. They are alive and together, but they could have died.

We didn't, though, Sasuke thinks. We are indestructible. Together, we are invincible.

This is their defiance in the face of death. Proof that there is undeniably life in their bodies. Bodies that can feel and touch and take.

Usually, when Naruto is like this – eager and wanton and downright demanding – Sasuke just lies back and watches as Naruto rides him, fucks himself on Sasuke's cock with reckless abandon until his face is flushed and his whole body trembles, just moments away from finding release.

Then, and only then, does Sasuke interfere, sitting up to close his arms around sweaty shoulders, pushes down while his hips thrust up, hard and fast. And only then can Naruto throw his head back and moan, before bis spine tenses and his muscles spasm while Sasuke licks the salt from his bared neck.

Sasuke thinks that, sometime soon, he will let himself be fucked in turn, just so Naruto knows what it feels like to possess someone so completely and not go mad with the taste of it.

For now, though, he crawls on top of him, covers the expectant body with his own, skin pressed flush together, no space left between. For a few moments they stay like that, just basking in each other's heat.

  
Then Sasuke sits up, kneeling between Naruto's legs, one hand braced against his chest, one on his thigh. With one sharp thrust of his hips, he plunges in.

Naruto's back arches with it, his eyes widen, roll back for a moment, before immediately finding their way back to Sasuke's face as he has been taught.

They don't speak, but they do not have to. This silence between their gazes is enough to convey it all.

So Sasuke clenches his jaw, because Naruto is tight and hot, and there were moments today when he thought that he might have lost this forever, all of it. But he hasn't.

They haven't been parted. They cannot be.

He puts his hands on either side of Naruto's head then, braces his feet against the forest floor, fingers and toes digging into the dirt, damp hair falling into his face, as he begins fucking Naruto in ernest.

It's rough, which is not unusual, but it's also raw. This is not so much about reaching climax or even nurturing their bond. It's leaving traces on each other, marks that can be seen and felt and smelled, and some that can't.

Sasuke knows the way Naruto scrapes his nails down along his back will leave scars, pale lines on already pale skin, faint and barely noticeable, but forever there to remind him. And in turn, he bites and sucks at Naruto's neck, darker than his own, yet still so pretty when it bruises.

He doesn't know how long it takes, maybe minutes, maybe hours, but the moon is above them, stark white instead of red, when Naruto quivers and clenches and surges up against him.

Sasuke grips him tighter then, fucks the last of it out of him, out of them both, sends himself over the edge and moans it against Naruto's open mouth along with his name, hips stuttering with the aftershocks.

They both try to catch their breath, loud in the relative silence of the forest, but much more composed than they previous gasps and cries. They hadn't even set up any security measures and it's a surprise that no one came across them, Sasuke thinks with some chagrin, but right now he does not care.

Finally satisfied and completely devoid of strength, he rolls off Naruto to lie beside him and unblinkingly stare up at the familiar constellations above them, his body rapidly cooling.

A sharp elbow nudges him in the ribs and he grunts in annoyance.

“Hold me,” Naruto demands without shame and turns on his side, back to him, and after a moment and an eye roll Sasuke complies. They're both covered in sweat and dirt now, but that can wait till morning. Dawn is still hours away while Naruto is right there, so Sasuke closes a protective arm around him and doesn't plan to let go.

Naruto tangles their legs together and shifts closer. The way his ass brushes against Sasuke's crotch makes Sasuke think that maybe they are not yet done for the night.

Yet for now they just lie there, and Sasuke lifts a hand to Naruto's chin to run the pad of his thumb over the gentle curve of his lips.

“Why are you smiling?” he asks, a small furrow on his brow.

Naruto only lets out a content sigh, his shoulders moving with it and the breath warm against Sasuke's hand.

“I'm just happy,” he answers and, for a moment, Sasuke tenses at that.

I am, too, he realizes in astonishment and gradually forces himself to relax again.

Of course, he doesn't reveal anything.

Instead he just noses blonde hair out of the way and fits his mouth against the back of Naruto's neck in an open-mouthed kiss.

But Naruto is still smiling against his palm, so maybe trying to hide anything had been a futile attempt from the very beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> No idea how I've managed to integrate fluff in such a fucked-up 'verse. But it was definitely fun to write.  
> I've got a third story from Jiraiya's POV which also reveals more about how Naruto himself views their relationship, and which might also include Sasuke and Naruto, at least temporarily, allying with Konoha to fight Madara, but we'll see what becomes of that.  
> I've also got a shameful little post-798 sasunaru arranged marriage fic, but I don't know yet whether I'll actually get that out. *blush*  
> Comments are always appreciated! <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic of] Don't Let Your Heart Grow Cold](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11656161) by [Dr_Fumbles_McStupid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_Fumbles_McStupid/pseuds/Dr_Fumbles_McStupid)




End file.
